This is actually backwards from what should happen...

We should stop trying to control what women's bodies do and period, and allow people who don't find value in their OWN lives to end their OWN suffering.

Today I read this article by a proponent of one of the weirdest philosophies ever. Anti-natalism.

The Case for Not Being Born

Here’s the funny thing, I’m in a disagreement with a person who had an article written about something I deeply wish for myself.

I do very much wish I were never born.

Never having been born would solve many of the issues that persist in the misery of existence as a human with all of the awareness and the social tyranny that humans have faced as a survival tool using each other to divide the task of survival distributing the burdens on others. Because I do not believe in a duality of “good/bad,” I inherently do not place either of those blanket assigned values to suffering. My actual beliefs about suffering are spare, only to describe them as a sensory experience of a living being being in a continuous feedback loop with the environment that organism is trying to survive in, and finding the conditions to be adverse.

So one might actually think I would believe this is good given this?

Here’s the rub; humans deliberately inflict suffering on one another to manipulate, extract from, and exploit each other into doing as they please.

Deliberate cruelty.

We can pretend that humans have become less cruel by inducing less death on each other as we used to in deliberate ways, save places where “capital punishment” still exists, but actually, we still use coercive measures to force people to do things, often very specific things.

I include things such as make money for them, be a subject of power for those who possess it, people forcing people to believe in their religion because it’s the socially prescribed one, to accept that there is One Right Way of existing that is considered Normal according to agents who can prescribe and influence such norms and “ideals” through their power and its proxy in wealth through these coercive measures that can be literal torture for those who are subject to them.

Baring the ability to prevent one’s specific existence from being the result of someone else’s selfish reproductive choices, trading places with an individual who wants the opportunity of a living existence with all of the joys, laments, and outright miseries of existence, then there leaves only one solution to the need for self selection; the ability to end one’s life free of external interference.

Here’s the thing, one can only determine this for themselves.

Right now, there’s legal reasons for this.

Just like back alley, coat hanger abortions that will now rear their ugly head again now that the neofascist MAGA movement has reclaimed dominion over women’s bodies as their personal property and to serve their purposes of providing domestic stability, incubating their babies, and possibly serving as their punching bag so that they don’t accidentally punch someone their own size or bigger than them who can credibly give them a fair fight.

As for me, I truly don’t want this existence.

Misery isn’t a choice. It’s not something you can understand. You certainly can’t project your own preferences and desires as mine. You alienate me when you do that. I don’t want to be here. I’ve known this ever since I’ve been aware. I don’t even think I could properly speak when I felt this way, so there was probably no communication involves besides the detection of an innately hostile environment around me.

When I began institutional education, this became more clear than ever.

I’ve figured out that the only reason I haven’t continued my formal education is that I can’t stand the rigid social structure that dictate how, what, when, and everything else about education. I learn in very non linear steps that don’t jive with the beliefs people have about learning. I don’t get rusty putting down a skill and walking away for even years. I come back and perform better than ever after a period off. I can’t cram anything new in after I need to stop and pause to process what I’ve just learned. I can’t do any of this on a rigid time table.

I love learning. I’m learning more than I ever have or could in a formal education setting that places artificial constraints. I don’t need deadlines, they literally kill my ability to learn, and create a depressive response in me that can linger long after a failure to meet one. The false urgency of neoliberal capitalism is toxic at its core to who I am. I can show you material proof of this concept.

To that end, the only reason why I’m still here is because I have a rare set of opportunities to pursue the things I want to rather than give a flying fuck about societal expectations. During the month of September, I always remember that I like the learning and discovery aspect to being a student, without any of the capitalistic “productivity” pressures. I actually tend to form my own structure, but it’s fluid and flexible, allowing me to work with my natural learning curves that look like logarithmic stairs. I can get really fucking specific about my educational needs if need be.

I will not be roped back into the currently prescribed wage slavery that capitalism in general forces most people into, and its actually the only way I can stay healthy. If you look at my medical chart, I have complete remission from anxiety, and partial remission from depression. Those do in fact exist as treatable diseases, but also one should try to understand any possible external causes of them. My anxiety is gone for a variety of reasons, one is that I won’t back away from conflict that I need to engage in to avoid internalizing my anger about being mistreated because I’m AuDHD and have dyspraxia. If you attempt to give me a hard time about something related to these issues, I’ll typically give you notice of what my immediate needs are, and if you resist them, especially repeatedly, I will unload on you without care or concern. I actually can’t and won’t hold that shit in anymore. I don’t owe that suffering to anyone for any reason. I’ve offered you another way for me to deal with it, and you won’t have it, so I’m simply going to act accordingly and not accommodate your demands that are actually unreasonable to me as I am, not as the strawman model you’ve built for me to measure up to.

Since I’m not allowed to not live now that I exist and have that very material existence being weaponized against me in attempts to extract from and exploit me through the use of suffering as manipulation, I have decided that my response will be explicit and rebellious non cooperation. Actually, that’s called for when you have illegitimate authorities who have no business telling others what to do when they have literally raped women and children. So I figure I owe this society no real respect or obedience in the first place, because I actually don’t have respect for how it operates on abuse and exploitation. It is literally funding the genocidal state of Israel and it’s Hitler like dictator who is ideologically driven by the racist and genocidal ideology of Zionism. I don’t give a rat’s ass who the fuck commits genocide through explicit or implicit policies and force, it’s all worthy of condemnation. If you’re a Zionist, you’re a piece of shit, just like Nazis, white supremacists, and every other deplorable extremist known to humanity. You should be passively and possibly violently resisted. The only reason I hate “terrorism,” is because it targets civilians. America had a right to be angry about the Twin Towers, and the use of civilian aircraft filled with non combatants, but had it just been attacks on the pentagon, I honestly wouldn’t have given a shit. Anyone engaging in the activity that is literally materially oppressing people in a part of the world we have no fucking business meddling in, is guilty as fuck. I still don’t like the idea of murder though. There are other, much better ways. Much more effective ways. Murder is vain and doesn’t produce the desired result, it just scares and angers people. They then gain the moral high ground to fully dehumanize you and throw everything that you say out the window, even if you had a profound statement. You do your cause no service by engaging in murderous violence. It gets attention, that’s it. It then garners a hellish bellicose response that is often disproportionate to the act itself. The War on Terror (registered trademark of Fox News) is a shining example. The desire of victims relatives to literally torture people who did the dastardly deed of killing a relative is another example. People are quite ready to weaponize grief to do some pretty horrible things to other people. None of it is justified, a quick ass whooping or lethal injection is pretty just. The carceral justice system needs a revamp, but rest assured that is actual torture to a lot of people.

Yes, I’m pro capital punishment. It’s just, and should be sane and legal.

Humans have been doing it forever, and we still justify various forms of slavery that still actually exist. Forcing someone to live against their will, and then turning on them and throwing the burden of supporting that life that they do not wish to have is a form of slavery. It’s abusive, cruel, and an unjust form of suffering.

If people actually gave a shit about people, they would give them the resources to thrive in the ways that they use as a weapon against them to justify taking their agency to end their miserable existence away.

To that end, here is my venmo tag if you wish to actually contribute to a project of mine!

I’ll consider you an angel investor in my projects, and I’ll name you in them! I don’t need credit for them, or notoriety, just the satisfaction of a job well done, and having built something through invention and creativity. I definitely don’t want to become rich or famous. That’s even more hell than this. After a certain degree of wealth, it doesn’t pay to get anymore. Anything else should be taxed as needed, then given away. And yes, charity to get out of paying your taxes is not charity. It’s about power and control. It’s tax evasion and attempting to control and manipulate people with your money. If you give people money and intend it on being charity, you attach no strings. If you weren’t going to give it if you couldn’t evade taxes, then you weren’t being charitable. You’re being selfish and manipulative.

That being said, I’d still make any contributions well worth anyone’s time.

So tonight I leave you with this,

I don’t want to be here. I don’t have any possibility of reaching the things that people use to justify preserving my existence. The “ordinary” life you prescribe for me has made me miserable, and I don’t feel any level of the forced gratitude that people have been trying to forcibly extract from me since the very beginning of my existence. The idea of making one’s life even more miserable to force said gratitude actually is violent and abusive. Depression or not, there might be a legitimate reason someone is depressed, it’s actually a well evolved natural response to repeated environmental stresses. Unless and until there is ACTUAL material momentum to collectively solve these issues, we should stop treading one a person’s right to leave this existence.

You can’t and don’t understand what another experiences.

Stop fucking projecting.